5 Ways To Lose Resentment | Spiritual Direction - The Work, J.R. Mahon

There are two emotions I consider the most debilitating to personal, professional and spiritual growth. 

  1. Fear 

  2. Resentment

We must have intimate knowledge of both. 

  • How do they control us? 

  • how do they make us think? 

  • How do they make us act? 

  • How do they stop the flow of giving and receiving love?

I am not looking for us to dominate these emotions, I am suggesting we know them, witness to them, connect with them intimately. Ultimately manage them in the moment. This can be reality but will mean stretching as you look at yourself. Yes, this process can be a pain in the ass and at times be very painful, but!! Liberation, freedom and peace are soooo worth it and possible. Remember! We are looking to live an undefended life having nothing to prove and nothing to lose. 

Here are five ways to let go of resentment:

  1. Write your resentments down, split them into three categories.

    1. The “who/what” you are resentful at

    2. The “why” you are resentful

    3. The “how” they have affected you

  2. Wise resentful confession. Talking about your resentments will take the gas out of the tank. It will slow you down long enough to understand the only person you're killing is you! This kind of awareness can suck FTR. It suggests your problems are always of your own making. This will be hard for a few of you as you battle ego alongside resentments. Remember! This is wise confession. Consider the person you are talking to, make sure that person is not helping you into deeper anger or stoking the fire for why you should be angry. 

  3. Pray for the person, place or thing you're resentful at. Pray for their happiness and health. A very wonderful Jesus teaching designed to get out of your head and into your heart. Helping you into a very unitive consciousness allowing love, mercy and compassion to “rule” instead of mindful aggression.  

  4. Stop cheerleading or politicizing your resentment or offense. Stay the hell off social media with your anger, stop DM-ing your tribe about what an asshole he/she is. Campaigning your resentment only serves your ego which will never be satisfied and keeps you resentful. It may feel good for a season but ultimately you'll lose to your own aggression and feel like shit. 

  5. Lean into empathy and forgiveness. Learn the story of those you are resentful at. This might be the hardest one. After all, resentment makes you want to destroy people, places and things depending on the circumstances. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. When you learn the story behind the person who has created the offense you literally help yourself into unitive consciousness. Instead of the constant churning of self-consciousness, only me, why me, me, me, me. We start to witness others in a light that exposes humanity, our humanity. The idea that we are all the same fighting against the same things and making big ass mistakes, occasionally hurting people along the way. BTW, this will lead to forgiveness which is the name of the game. Hard, right? I get it, thats why its number five, this one takes a bit of time and work.  

Love you all … if you want to talk, I’m right here … 619.964.0337 / jr@jrmahon.com

J.R. Mahon